Gov Hassan Autographs Special Edition Vodka Bottle

On Wednesday, September 03, a monumentous occasion occurred as the one and only governor Maggie Hassan visited Keene State College. On her foot voyage from the SUV to the front doors of the library, she was met with the usual escorts, but also including Free Keene blogger Derrick J. He steadily pitched hardball questions to New Hampshire’s highest politician, who consistently ignored him by miming casual conversation with others around her.

On the brief walkway preceding the entrance to the library doors, I encountered the scene of the governor’s entourage being led by Derrick. Approaching the governor, I inquired, maggie_hassan_vodkapodium“Governor Hassan, would you be able to sign my collectable decanter?,” referring to the vodka receptacle. Graciously, the high candidate obliged, “Sure,” taking and signing the ceramic canteen. With a signature striking similar to, “Messiah,” I was overjoyed to witness the hypocrisy of an anti-cannabis politician who is proud of their legal contributions to the state’s vodka industry. After the hilarious commercial the governor appeared in for the special edition NH state vodka bottle, I can imagine their value could only have skyrocketed. How far are we from the day when a New Hampshire governor autographs their personal strain of recreational cannabis? As boldly stated on the face of our nation’s official liquor decanter, “Live Free or Die”.

Embedded above is a propaganda piece produced by the DPRK in response to the successful visit of the governor to our quaint village. Below is the raw video of the ambush interview and signature acquisition on the day of the governor’s visit. (more…)

Parking Enforcer Loses It: VIDEO

While out doing election day outreach at Keene State College, parking enforcer Linda comes along to issue some threats to peaceful motorists. I grab my Robin Hooding supplies and begin saving people from parking tickets. She begins behaving erratically as we approach an intersection, acting like she is going to cross and then turning around, then turning around again and so on. It was probably very frustrating for the poor people who had stopped to wait for her at the crosswalk while she played childish games with Matt and I.

After this encounter, I pulled out my video camera and continued to feed meters while holding her accountable for her actions. As soon as I approached with the camera she began her erratic behavior again, turning around a total of eighteen times within two minutes. She also accuses me of harassment and interfering, which we know are untrue – Robin Hooding is legal in New Hampshire and talking to government workers is not harassment. Eventually, she leaves the area, having failed at writing further tickets.

Keene BEARCAT Reconsideration Prompts State/National Coverage

Keene city councilor Terry Clark, a vocal opponent of the militarization of police, recently proposed that the Ballistic Engineered Armored Response Counter Attack Truck (BEARCAT) obtained through a Homeland Security grant in 2012, be returned to its giftors. The mayor of Keene successfully prevented the proposal from being considered by the full council, by filing the proposal as ‘informational’. When Clarke objected to the improper classification of his proposal, only two other councilors of fifteen — Emily Hague and Bettina Chadbourne — sided with Clarke, resulting in the defeat of the proposal before it would be seriously considered. Mayor Kendall Lane, who held the same office during discussion on the matter in years past, was caught on an audiorecording of a meeting hushedly whispering to another city official, “We’re gonna get our own tank”. Despite the lack of change in Keene’s status relative to the attack truck, statewide coverage of the situation in Keene has been featured in a video segment by WMUR, received front page coverage in today’s Union Leader, and has also sparked a hilarious satirical police blotter written by Lionel Beehner of the Huffington Post.

A delivery truck was double-parked in front of the Fun Suds Laundromat. Police called the EOD bomb squad to cordon off the block in search of suspected Iranian-made IEDs, while an F-16 provided air support. NSA was notified to check its foreign transcripts for any explicit threats made against Keene or the state of New Hampshire. No threats were made and no IEDs were found. The truck was towed.

 

AKPF #1: JMPN

This week’s AKPF #1 timeslot has the unique opportunity of being filled with a special edition aftershow of Black Sheep Rising, in which the deeper meanings of the hollywood samuell_ji_jazzyproduction “Jumper” are crucially analyzed. In this installment, which runs slightly longer than the standard 29 minute blocks, the audience is treated to illustrated excerpts from the controversial late night television program, censored for presentation to the daytime audience of Cheshire TV.

To what institutions in society does the jumping scenario present an analogous interpretation? Is Samuel L. Jackson’s role that of an enforcer, an elder, a spiritual leader, or a tyrant? Should jumping ever be prohibited by law? Was Vincent Vega truly responsible for the incident which traumatically affected the character Marvin in Pulp Fiction? Unanswered questions about how jumping effects the lives of so many are approached with answers in this unforgettable review of Anakin and Mace Windu’s much anticipated rematch.

Laughable Keene Government Continues to Be Targeted by Comedy Media

The city and police bosses continue to make ridiculous choices that lead to more and more national media, hilariously critical of their outrageous acts of repression (BEARCAT, Robin Hood Lawsuits, etc). The latest? Former Daily Show correspondent John Oliver recently made fun of the Keene Police and the BEARCAT attack tank on his show, “Last Week Tonight”. Shire Liberty News has the full story.

Here’s the clip:

Still to come – the Colbert Report’s visit to Keene has yet to air…