Sunday, May 3:
I skipped a day or two. I’ve been sleeping more. Yesterday I had visitors, and Ivy has been allowed access to me. The write of Habeas Corpus was very well put together. I’m looking forward to seeing he Supreme Court’s response. I don’t see how they could deny it and retain any sense of legitimacy.
I have everything I need in here now, and I’m reading lots of books. COmmissary came in Friday so I no longer need to trade meals for anything. The question of what to do with them has been on my mind. I’ve decided to offer them in return for random acts of kindness.
Laramie, a guy who called in a bomb threat to divert police from a planned bank robbery, came by asking for breakfast. I told him I would trade it for a random act of kindness. Laramie looked perplexed and couldn’t think of anything saying, “THis is like a pay it forward thing right?” I said yes, something like that. BReakfast came and went, my tray went back in the stack uneaten.
Nobody asked for lunch so I eventually gave it to a new guy who came in speaking very negatively, but has since toned it down. I thanked him for sweeping and mopping the day room (which he did to turn on the TV). He seemed surprised and grateful, it was a fulfilling experience for me.
Allan came by earlier asking for dinner, inquiring about my unusual trade. I asked him what do you have to offer? He replied, “I don’t know. I’ve given away everything I had left (from commissary).” I smiled and asked, “What can you give of yourself?” He had no idea, and after struggling with this for a while I suggested he find 3 people to acknowledge. He’s been here 4 months and could only think of 1 person out over over 20 to say something nice to. I asked him to think about that, and his interactions with others. After exploring this a while he acknowledged me for standing up for marijuana and speaking out about it and everything the free staters are doing. Now he’s getting it! I told him that’s one, two to go.
Allan walked down the hall to Scott’s cage and told him how much he appreciated his help and friendliness. It was very heartfelt and wonderful to hear them talk.
The third one was tough. He came back to my cage several times saying there was nobody else he could think of anything good to say about them. I only asked him questions that had him reflect on his statements to me. Eventually he came back complete. He thanked one of the prisoners for beating up one of the other prisoners!
I asked him if he thought that was a positive attribute – resorting to violence – given that’s what government does, and that’s the reasons we’re here. He agreed, but asked if it was good enough. I told Allan we would decide when it was complete.
I asked him if he felt the spirit and intention of the exercise had been fulfilled. I reminded him the way he does this exercise is the same way he takes on challenges in life. He could cheat, but he’s only cheating himself. Allan struggled with this a while longer and agreed he was not complete.
After another 10 minutes, he acknowledged another prisoner Chris for controlling his anger over the last month. (I’ve been talking to Chris too) It wasn’t taken very well, but I could see the sense of accomplishment in Allan, who has been homeless and addicted to crack.
I asked Allan what he learned, the final requirement. He said it was hard for him to find good things to say about people. I asked him how many people he pushes out of his life because he focuses on the negative aspects or the things he doesn’t like about them instead of finding something to appreciate about them. It gave Allan something to think about, I felt great, and it was the bet trade I’ve made for a meal yet!
Want to experience some personal growth of your own today? Try this at home! 🙂 Want to really stretch? Find three people you don’t like very much to acknowledge. Look for the gifts they have to offer the world, we all have them, and you might just be surprised at what you learn about yourself in the process.
I’m feeling okay, sleeping more, pulled a muscle in my back and couldn’t get out of bed for a couple of hours. I’m drinking more miulk, it’s still sore, but I’ll be alright.
SamIAm
