“Non-Violent Communication” Looks like a Self-Improvement Cult

NVC Guy with PuppetsDerrick recently posted his interactions with the state prosecutors and referenced “Non Violent Communication“, a communication tactic that has surfaced among a fairly large group of liberty activists.

I wouldn’t say that there is not value in “NVC”. People are excited by it for a reason – who doesn’t want to be a better communicator? It’s certainly true that empathizing and being able to understand what someone wants is critical to productive communication. It appears NVC has these goals in mind, which is certainly good. However I encourage people to be cautious, as it has the hallmarks of a self-improvement cult.

I think it’s great that people want to improve their communication skills. However, having been involved in network marketing (which also has similar cult hallmarks) at a much younger age, it’s pretty easy for me to spot this stuff. One look at the NVC website makes it pretty clear that it’s just another self-improvement cult. Browse the seminars, costing as much as hundreds of dollars, and don’t forget to order audio and video (cassettes!) available with quantity discounts.

I like the intentions of NVC, but not how it mixes wants with needs. You need food, water, shelter, and air. Most other things are not needs. They are wants and desires. Because of this, NVC screams “jargon”. Caution is advised. You’d think someone ostensibly focused on language (the NVC creator) would have noticed he was using a term incorrectly.

Besides, who would want to be seen as needy?

Easy suggestions for better communication: Approach others from a point of compassion. Ask questions. Listen. Repeat back what they said to you in your own words, so it’s clear you are paying attention. Spend less time talking than you do listening.

Pick up a copy of “Secrets of Libertarian Persuasion” and “How to Win Friends and Influence People“. You’ll probably get as much out of them for a few bucks, and without the jargon, possible brainwashing, and lowered bank account, you could from many self-improvement cults.

You have been warned.

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