This is a distillation of all of what I consider the best info on this topic that I have absorbed over the years. We have learned; now we must test, modify, test, modify…
Critique? Thoughts? Additions? Please post them to the Free Keene Forum discussion thread on this topic.
- Record the scene on video, audio, porc411, or any combo of the three. Announce your recording upon the bureaucrat’s approach. Even if you have no cel signal, consider bluffing, “Hello officer, this conversation is being recorded and broadcast on the internet.” Betcha that will change his demeanor right up front. If he objects, claiming that is illegal or that he doesn’t consent, inform him that you “intend no disrespect”, but if he wishes to avoid being recorded, he should leave, otherwise as you are in public he is consenting by remaining in the vicinity of the microphone.
- Keep your hands visible. These guys are either scared of you hurting them or they are worse, looking for an excuse to hurt you. Don’t give them the opportunity.
- Questions are the most powerful thing you can do in an interaction with any bureaucrat. Questioning keeps you in the “master” role and prevents you from revealing info. It also turns the tables on them, as they are used to sheep answering just any question they ask.
- If ordered to do something, make sure they realize what they are doing. I believe this is a paraphrase of Dave Ridley’s line, “Are you going to hurt me if I don’t?” (Or if you’re feeling particularly ballsy, try “Is that an order? I’ll happily fill your order but you will become liable for a bill in the amount of $XXX. Do you still with to place your order?”)
- “Am I free to go?”, “Am I being detained” – Commit to memory and utilize.
- If you are coerced into signing something, sign something like “Under Duress, All Rights Reserved”, just above your signature.
- Don’t speak their language. Do not “understand”. These are people who talk in a language that sounds like English, but it’s not. It’s legalese. Their words can mean things different from the common understandings of them. If you don’t believe me, pick up a law dictionary and see for yourself. Unless you know the legal definitions of the words they use, you cannot “understand” them. Remember, they are ALWAYS operating under legal capacity when working as bureaucrats. (An exception to this might be when “couch enforcer” Carl Patten requested I talk with him “man to man” and “off the record”.) When a bureaucrat says something to you then asks if you “understand”, always say “No I don’t understand.”, then ask a question. If you need an easy question to ask, pick a word he use and ask about it, “No, I don’t understand. What do you mean by, XXXXXX?”
- Don’t accept their offers. Avoid signing if you can without getting hurt (see above). Do not voluntarily take their paperwork from them. They will probably touch you with it and let it fall inside your car or on the ground. They have done their job, but at least you didn’t consent.
- Don’t let them associate you with their process. Patten said to me in court recently, “Did you decide when you want to have your trial?”. He scurried off when I began turning my audio recorder, but I was going to say to him, “It’s not my trial, it’s yours. You’re the one demanding it.” We are not seeking conflict, they are. We only want peace and harmony. We want to discuss and ask questions. We do not consent to their process.
