I wouldn’t say that there is not value in “NVC”. People are excited by it for a reason – who doesn’t want to be a better communicator? It’s certainly true that empathizing and being able to understand what someone wants is critical to productive communication. It appears NVC has these goals in mind, which is certainly good. However I encourage people to be cautious, as it has the hallmarks of a self-improvement cult.
I think it’s great that people want to improve their communication skills. However, having been involved in network marketing (which also has similar cult hallmarks) at a much younger age, it’s pretty easy for me to spot this stuff. One look at the NVC website makes it pretty clear that it’s just another self-improvement cult. Browse the seminars, costing as much as hundreds of dollars, and don’t forget to order audio and video (cassettes!) available with quantity discounts.
I like the intentions of NVC, but not how it mixes wants with needs. You need food, water, shelter, and air. Most other things are not needs. They are wants and desires. Because of this, NVC screams “jargon”. Caution is advised. You’d think someone ostensibly focused on language (the NVC creator) would have noticed he was using a term incorrectly.
Besides, who would want to be seen as needy?
Easy suggestions for better communication: (more…)
The path to freedom is not clearly marked. To me, Liberty means freedom to act. Unless coercion is used, the actions of others cannot impede one’s own pursuits. I value a varied approach to achieving liberty, which is why I am disappointed to see Skeptikos go.
In his parting post, he references 3 bits of activism in which I took part (I made 2 of the 3 videos), and then claims that Ian’s disregard for some people’s criticism is the motivation behind “wildly irrational decisions” (read: “unpopular actions”).
Anyone can point out what is and is not popular. I realize that today violent solutions to complex social problems are more popular than peaceful ones, and that people dedicated to peace will face a chorus of discouragement. However, I’m encouraged by the words of Jack Kerouak when he said, “Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.”
The world is not molded by people who talk but by those who act. Since action reveals confidence in one’s ideas, my hope for Skeptikos as well as anyone with criticism is that his dismay will ignite a flame of action which burns brighter than ever before. Show me how it’s done. May you be guided from within rather than from without. Best wishes.
Displeasure seems to continue to be growing at my decision to inform government officials about the threats against Judge Edward Burke.
From my response to a critic:
“Don’t forget it was anonymous PUBLIC comments that the University System of New Hampshire used in court to help justify why they needed a temporary restraining order against ME from carrying a firearm on state property (state property I carried firearms on numerous times before as a law enforcement officer).”
Yeah, it feels strange quoting myself like that, but you get the idea.
I know there are lots of people in disagreement with me on this, but, I believe mere threatening violence against another is a violation of the non-aggression principle.
Here is the full response I posted on the NH Underground Forums.
Derrick recently posted his interactions with the state prosecutors and referenced “Non Violent Communication“, a communication tactic that has surfaced among a fairly large group of liberty activists.
