Robin Hood of Keene doesn’t rob anybody, but does like to help out those in need: particularly patrons of downtown Keene whose parking meters have expired. By adding extra coins, Robin Hood saves those patrons from the hassle and extra expense of parking citations given by the orders of the Crown of Keene and distributed by his sheriffs. After all, what business does the Crown of Keene have demanding money to park your car in a public place?
I’m one of Robin Hood’s merry men, and I’d like to tell you a story that happened to me the other day while carrying out Robin Hood’s mission. Two fellow merry men and I were checking the meters around Central Square when we found an expired one in front of Pepper Pete’s Hot Shop. I put in some coins, deposited a note on the car’s windshield to alert the driver, and was on my way. But as I left, I noticed Pepper Pete come out of his store and stand on the sidewalk. He said nothing but I was alert, because in the past Pepper Pete has accosted some merry men, accusing them of acting illegally and berating them for soliciting money.
I walked to the end of the street, finished my metering duties, and returned from whence I came, passing Pepper Pete again. Again, he said nothing. I was a little suspicious, so after I turned the corner, I stopped and peered back down the street through the window of the corner shop. I saw Pepper Pete walk to the car that for which I had deposited coins and remove my note.
I didn’t appreciate his intrusion into business that wasn’t his, so I walked back towards him. I asked him, “Which car did you get that note from? Was it this one?” and I gestured toward the car I thought it was. Pepper Pete silently confirmed it was the correct car, by nodding. I walked to the car and placed another note on the windshield.
Pepper Pete said, “I’m going to take that one, too.”
I replied, “No, you’re not,” and stood in front of the car facing him, looking him directly in the eye, smiling. He was silent and motionless. After a few seconds I realized that he could just go in his store and come back out when I left, so I sat down on the curb, guarding my good deed. I thought Pepper Pete was too cowardly to take the second note right in front of me, and I was correct. My fellow merry men joined me on the curb, enjoying the glorious weather. I heard Pepper Pete and his friend mumbling, and one of them told the other that we were assholes. But they were helpless for at least two reasons; they have poor communication and socializing skills, and they have nothing to defend except their own invasive and unfriendly behavior.
And here’s where the story gets funny. About one minute later, a man walked up to this car and started reaching for the note I left on the windshield. As he did, he saw me sitting on the curb and paused. He recognized me and called me by name. I was a little shocked, but as I looked at his face more closely, I realize I recognized him, too. It was George Donnelly!
I knew George only digitally prior to this, via Facebook, but I recognized his face from his profile picture. He was in town looking for a place to rent so he and his family could move here (as part of the Free State Project). In fact, he had just arrived only an hour before and had just eaten lunch at Pedraza’s, which is next door to Pepper Pete’s shop. We shook hands ardently as I welcomed him to New Hampshire.
So there we were, standing in front of Pepper Pete, who was impotent to do or say anything negative (and who apparently has chosen in life not to say very many positive things). His promise to take my second note off the car was now impossible – the car owner now held it in his hand. His desire to say something insulting or negative about Robin Hood was quashed, because he would be saying it to a potential customer who was right then befriending Robin Hood’s merry men! I was not looking at Pepper Pete, but I knew that both he and his friend remained standing outside their shop, speechless, watching us happily interact with each other. He must have been infuriated that someone would consider our action to be friendly.
Then, to put icing on my cake – and perhaps to drive the dagger a little further into Pepper Pete’s black heart – George said aloud that he’d like to make a donation to the Robin Hood Parking Meter Fund. The one part of Robin Hood’s plan that irked Pepper Pete was that we were “soliciting” money, and here was another happy person voluntarily giving us a donation – right in front of Pepper Pete! It was rather sublime to have been at that moment a cog in the machinery of the universe that doled out justice, and to witness it at the same time.
I exchanged contact information with George and we made plans to get him acquainted with New Hampshire and socialize with more people he hadn’t yet met in real life, and then we were all on our way. As I departed, I turned to Pepper Pete and his friend and, smiling, wished them a good day.
