Is Rand Paul scared of being turned gay by Vermin Supreme?
This morning, likely democratic presidential contender Vermin Supreme was turned away from a campaign event for Rand Paul, the not-libertarian son of Ron Paul. Rand’s “NH Operations Director” sent a notice to Vermin prior to the event asking him not to attend. Vermin had originally RSVP’d to the supposedly public event at Milford, NH’s town hall and planned to hand out free candy in hopes of garnering Rand’s endorsement. Presumably the candy would also lure the gullible Rand supporters, many of whom seem to believe Rand is a libertarian.
To Rand’s credit, he can sound libertarian on some issues and is indeed the lesser of the evil people running in the major parties, but even he claims he’s not a libertarian. In case anyone needed to know for sure, here’s a story in Newsweek about how Rand proposed a 16% increase to the military budget, something his father wouldn’t have done.
Perhaps Rand knew the candy would be too tempting and sent the order to have Vermin uninvited from today’s event, or perhaps his staffer, Tammy Simmons, acted on her own volition in an attempt to shield Rand and his supporters from the corrupting influence of Vermin’s candy.
Vermin is also known for using his fairy dust to turn democratic presidential candidate Randall Terry gay back in 2012. Odds are good Rand is aware of this tactic, and that may be his motivation to keep Vermin away. In an interview this afternoon, Vermin acknowledged it’s possible that Rand fears being turned gay, and would not comment on whether he has any fairy dust in his possession, calling that a “closely held secret.” Rand better hope Vermin isn’t holding any fairy dust. He can’t afford to go gay, as he’ll lose his base of conservative homophobic anti-gay marriage supporters and thereby any shot at winning the primary.
Regardless, campaign season is just warming up, and Vermin Supreme will continue to strike fear into the hearts of politicians nationwide. Eventually, he may encounter Rand within dusting distance. Here’s Vermin reading the letter from the Rand Paul NH boss:
UPDATE 10:40pm – Watch Rand’s security rescue a cardboard cutout of Rand from Vermin as he enters the building after the event ends:
I want my free pony!
“likely democratic presidential contender https://www.facebook.com/vermin.supreme.1”
Contender? I’d bet Mickey Mouse gets more votes than Vermin – http://empirenews.net/after-years-as-1-write-in-candidate-mickey-mouse-announces-official-presidential-run/
You are WRONG !!! Richard Bauman. !n 2008, according to the FEDERAL ELECTION COMMISSION, Vermin Supreme received more votes than Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck combined,
CITATION – http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/54093-final-2008-tally-in-bill-clinton-edges-out-santa
verminsupreme2016 My bad – you crushed it with 43 votes! A whopping 0.0000327494% of total votes.
Maybe you can aspire for triple digit votes this time, Mr. Contender.
PLEASE NOTE- In reading this letter I inadvertently omitted a smileyface emoticon that appeared after the sentence
“While I would love it if you were wanting to attend to show your support for Senator Paul, we both know that is not the case :)”
I apologize to Ms. Sanders.
[…] A lot of libertarians who went through the Republican nomination process in a futile attempt to get Ron Paul nominated have been pointing out Rand’s chances are basically nil. But the nomination process isn’t the only thing that may stop Rand’s campaign in its tracks. He has a wily competitor for president and that competitor has a secret weapon: […]
Please dust Rand Paul. Please.
Ian just doing what he can to keep the tent small and kill chances to move in a good direction
[…] campaign by Vermin Supreme previously in his last campaign and this time around when he was banned from a Rand Paul campaign event in 2015 and when he was disarmed of his guns and plush pony by the secret service at the state […]