AKPF #1: Beclear

In this installment of AKPF #1, originally aired September 29, we are granted an anthology of president Obama’s clearest moments, including an after action report of a recently contested parking ticket in the DPRK district court system. Enjoy AKPF #1 episode, Beclear.

Leverett & River Street Residents Compete for Worst Neighbor Award

When hearing stories about how high tensions have risen in Keene regarding activist adventures, one ponders the many indicators of derision. There’s the fear and hate mongering at STOP FREE KEENE!!!, which when boiling over to violent rhetoric or threats thereof, occasionally gets censored. Then there’s the realistic incidents of actual violence in Keene’s streets regarding activist related activities. Two violent clashes on consecutive evenings tangentially related to Central Square chalkings led to one person’s hospitalization and earned another a felony charge. It would be nice to believe that the xenophobic posturing that has been aimed at individuals were to have reached its climax long ago, but judging by a shouting match in the streets of an otherwise quiet suburban neighborhood, it seems there are those who are making it their life’s effort to embody the forces of antagonism.

This synthesis of negative energy came together after recent re-mover to Keene Christopher Cantwell decided to have a word with neighbor Matthew (more…)

Have We Not Yet Resolved the Chalking Terror?

It always catches me by surprise when a public official continues to express belief in an incorrect analysis of law. Yesterday afternoon in Keene, a chalk artist was approached by a bailiff who exited the front doors of the court to issue a pseudo-order to stop chalking. Classifying the chalking as ‘disorderly conduct’, a vague legal term to which chalking does not apply, the authority figure retreated when questioned about his statements and suggested that he would contact Keene police. A KPD SUV rolled by, and another officer walked past the chalking and into the courthouse, but no further action was taken. And, the chalking remained over 24 hours later!

I suppose this was simply an incident in which one bailiff had an incorrect interpretation of the rights of people to express themselves. It was respectable to see the issue dropped once the false information was corrected. One longs for a day when chalking itself does not cause such an elevation of the emotions for bystanders and authority figures.

Supreme Court to Hear Robin Hood Case October 15

Following the victory of the Merry People at the New Hampshire superior court level, Robin Hood of Keene is now scheduled for another decisive win over the conniving legal team calling itself ‘The City of Keene’ — this time at the state’s highest court, the Supreme! On rhood_wantedakpfWednesday, October 15 at 9:30am, attorneys for the city as well as Robin Hood’s legal counsel will present brief oral arguments in support of their filings regarding the appealed case which was heard over the course of three full days last autumn. While one robed person entertained the narrative last time, on this examination, there will be no less than five dark-clothed individuals asking questions and formulating opinions regarding the legal parameters of the whimsical case.

As many stories that reach NH’s only appellate court resonate, this case has also prompted amicus curiae briefs from the New Hampshire Civil Liberties Union in support of ‘Hooding and an opposition brief filed by the ominous New Hampshire Municipal Association. The location of the Concord court and details of their process are listed on their website.

Gov Hassan Autographs Special Edition Vodka Bottle

On Wednesday, September 03, a monumentous occasion occurred as the one and only governor Maggie Hassan visited Keene State College. On her foot voyage from the SUV to the front doors of the library, she was met with the usual escorts, but also including Free Keene blogger Derrick J. He steadily pitched hardball questions to New Hampshire’s highest politician, who consistently ignored him by miming casual conversation with others around her.

On the brief walkway preceding the entrance to the library doors, I encountered the scene of the governor’s entourage being led by Derrick. Approaching the governor, I inquired, maggie_hassan_vodkapodium“Governor Hassan, would you be able to sign my collectable decanter?,” referring to the vodka receptacle. Graciously, the high candidate obliged, “Sure,” taking and signing the ceramic canteen. With a signature striking similar to, “Messiah,” I was overjoyed to witness the hypocrisy of an anti-cannabis politician who is proud of their legal contributions to the state’s vodka industry. After the hilarious commercial the governor appeared in for the special edition NH state vodka bottle, I can imagine their value could only have skyrocketed. How far are we from the day when a New Hampshire governor autographs their personal strain of recreational cannabis? As boldly stated on the face of our nation’s official liquor decanter, “Live Free or Die”.

Embedded above is a propaganda piece produced by the DPRK in response to the successful visit of the governor to our quaint village. Below is the raw video of the ambush interview and signature acquisition on the day of the governor’s visit. (more…)

Keene BEARCAT Reconsideration Prompts State/National Coverage

Keene city councilor Terry Clark, a vocal opponent of the militarization of police, recently proposed that the Ballistic Engineered Armored Response Counter Attack Truck (BEARCAT) obtained through a Homeland Security grant in 2012, be returned to its giftors. The mayor of Keene successfully prevented the proposal from being considered by the full council, by filing the proposal as ‘informational’. When Clarke objected to the improper classification of his proposal, only two other councilors of fifteen — Emily Hague and Bettina Chadbourne — sided with Clarke, resulting in the defeat of the proposal before it would be seriously considered. Mayor Kendall Lane, who held the same office during discussion on the matter in years past, was caught on an audiorecording of a meeting hushedly whispering to another city official, “We’re gonna get our own tank”. Despite the lack of change in Keene’s status relative to the attack truck, statewide coverage of the situation in Keene has been featured in a video segment by WMUR, received front page coverage in today’s Union Leader, and has also sparked a hilarious satirical police blotter written by Lionel Beehner of the Huffington Post.

A delivery truck was double-parked in front of the Fun Suds Laundromat. Police called the EOD bomb squad to cordon off the block in search of suspected Iranian-made IEDs, while an F-16 provided air support. NSA was notified to check its foreign transcripts for any explicit threats made against Keene or the state of New Hampshire. No threats were made and no IEDs were found. The truck was towed.