Keene BEARCAT Reconsideration Prompts State/National Coverage

Keene city councilor Terry Clark, a vocal opponent of the militarization of police, recently proposed that the Ballistic Engineered Armored Response Counter Attack Truck (BEARCAT) obtained through a Homeland Security grant in 2012, be returned to its giftors. The mayor of Keene successfully prevented the proposal from being considered by the full council, by filing the proposal as ‘informational’. When Clarke objected to the improper classification of his proposal, only two other councilors of fifteen — Emily Hague and Bettina Chadbourne — sided with Clarke, resulting in the defeat of the proposal before it would be seriously considered. Mayor Kendall Lane, who held the same office during discussion on the matter in years past, was caught on an audiorecording of a meeting hushedly whispering to another city official, “We’re gonna get our own tank”. Despite the lack of change in Keene’s status relative to the attack truck, statewide coverage of the situation in Keene has been featured in a video segment by WMUR, received front page coverage in today’s Union Leader, and has also sparked a hilarious satirical police blotter written by Lionel Beehner of the Huffington Post.

A delivery truck was double-parked in front of the Fun Suds Laundromat. Police called the EOD bomb squad to cordon off the block in search of suspected Iranian-made IEDs, while an F-16 provided air support. NSA was notified to check its foreign transcripts for any explicit threats made against Keene or the state of New Hampshire. No threats were made and no IEDs were found. The truck was towed.

 

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Ian Battles

“Even if Keene never uses the Bearcat, they consider it a wise investment.”

Sorry, I’m sober, so that makes no sense. How is buying something you’ll never use a “wise investment”?

Matty

Devils Advocate: It’s like an insurance policy.

Agent Kris

What a joke. One interesting thing to note is that Keene wasn’t just offered this BEARCAT. They APPLIED for it.

Bane's Gay Lover

Do the petition guys, to change the name of the BEARCAT to the BUTTCAT.

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