Welcome the New Year with Mayor’s Inaugural Drinking Game

lanekendall_bestmayordprk_nhSay hello to a new 2014 tomorrow at the Keene mayor’s inaugural drinking game, to be held at Keene City Hall at 12 noon New Year’s Day. In following with drinking games of past, celebrants of our new people’s democratic representative candidate Kendall Lane are invited to bring a delicious beverage of their choice for the event. Be sure to stay properly hydrated if enjoying state sponsored substances this evening, and save some partying energy for early afternoon celebrations on January’s first day. See previous congratulations paid to the newly re-elected senior politician in the DPRK’s announcement relative to the Robin Hooding court ruling in a recent video message. (more…)

DPRK Denounces Robin Hood Ruling

akpf_dprkappeal1xIn a followup to their previous two videos, one published to youtube and another to their official website, the bureaucrats behind the Democratic People’s Republic of Keene have crafted a new video message denouncing a Cheshire superior court judge’s ruling in their lawsuit against the merry people associated with Robin Hood of Keene. The ruling that was handed down on December 3 determined that no civil claims were legally actionable given the protections granted in the first amendment of the US lanekendall_bestmayordprkconstitution. The judge declined to elaborate on implications which may or may not be granted by the more eloquent NH state constitution.

The new piece of content by the City people is brief and to the point. Commemorating the re-elected person who won the mayor contest, the video also serves as a new year’s update from the officials and to the civilianry that is claimed representative dominion over. Meanwhile in DPRK, Robin Hooding continues unabated.

No Arrests Yet in Pearl Street Homicide

keenenhcbshomicideWhile police continue to investigate a fatal shooting at a Pearl Street residence in Keene, no arrests have been made and no suspects publicly identified. Last Saturday evening, David Wheelock was found in his home moments after an unknown assailant had killed him with multiple gunshots. Few details have been revealed this week by the NH Attorney General’s office. It has been disclosed that the upstairs neighbor of Wheelock, Nicholas Coll, heard the shots and discovered his injured neighbor and notified emergency services. The following day, state and local agencies investigated as a snow cover slowly melted. An article on the continuing search for clues was published today in the Keene Sentinel. On December 26, an article about homicides related to the Keene area was published that highlighted facts known up to that point on the Pearl Street homicide, as well as the killing of Chesterfield man in Windsor, Connecticut and an update on a missing persons case that had since been charged as a murder in Unity, NH.

Merry Christmas from Edward Snowden

Everyone’s favorite National Security Agency whistleblower has released a Christmas message to the people of the world. Cheers!

[vimeo http://vimeo.com/82666985]

Hi, and Merry Christmas. I’m honored to have a chance to speak with you and your family this year. Recently, we learned that our governments, working in concert, have created a system of worldwide, mass surveillance, watching everything we do. Great Britain’s George Orwell Hong Kong Protesters Call on Government to Protect Snowdenwarned us of the danger of this kind of information. The types of collections in the book — microphones and videocameras, TVs that watch us — are nothing compared to what we have available today. We have sensors in our pocket that track us everywhere we go. Think about what this means for the privacy of the average person. A child born today will grow up with no conception of privacy at all. They’ll never know what it means to have a private moment to themselves — an unrecorded, unanalyzed thought. And that’s a problem, because privacy matters. Privacy is what allows us to determine who we are, and who we want to be. The conversation occurring today will determine the amount of trust we can place both in the technology that surrounds us, and the government that regulates it. Together we can find a better balance, end mass surveillance, and remind the government that if it really wants to know how we feel, asking is always cheaper than spying. For everyone out there listening, thank you, and Merry Christmas.

Official DPRK presents Music of Unofficial DPRK

nhkeene2_dprkvodkaIn this special holiday presentation airing during the AKPF #1 time slot, Official DPRK takes an educational excursion to unofficial DPRK. Opening with an exquisite press symposium hosted by the honorable NHUSA governor Maggie Hassan, who is premiering a new official vodka for the people. In order to promote harmonious relations with similar other portions of the world, leaders of Official DPRK have pieced together an anthology of uplifting and timely musical arrangements. This installment signals a cultural and political alliance between the two geographically-based factions contending for the Official DPRK designation. Happy holidays from the Democratic People’s Republic of Keene!

1. 00:00 Special message to the viewers of Cheshire TV disclaimer
2. 00:10 DPRK face of state media AKPF promo
3. 00:20 Official NHUSA governor’s vodka sales pitch
4. 02:41 Jingle Bells, Unofficial DPRK Style
5. 05:03 Hail North Korean Communist Party ballad
6. 08:10 Glorious and Admirable, by Moranbong Chorus
7. 12:43 Please, Let The Snow Fall, by Moranbong Band
8. 17:23 Let’s Study!, by Moranbong Band
9. 20:51 Children of DPRK present classical guitar arrangements
10. 24:18 Our Father (Kim Jong Il dedication) by Song & Oungum