Get the Edward Burke, “HAVE A SEAT!” Ringtone!

by | Oct 21, 2009 | 20 comments

BurkeDon’t get enough abuse in your life? Ever feel the need to be bossed around on a regular basis?

Enter the first ever Edward Burke ringtone!

Now you can have the robed man of Keene’s district court, Edward Burke, yell at you every time you get a phone call! Hear him utter one of his most famous lines, “HAVE A SEAT!” with each ring of your phone!

It’s almost feels like being at the mercy of the robed man yourself!

Download the Edward Burke, “HAVE A SEAT!” ringtone for free!

Letter #5 from Kurt in Jail

by | Oct 21, 2009 | 4 comments

[Transcribed from Kurt’s “Mail From Jail” letter, which can be found here. Be sure to visit Mail-to-Jail to write letters to Kurt in jail.]

Wed, Oct 21, 2009 A.D., Day 20

Last night after asking 13 different guards, one finally got back to me on a book Sam A. Robrin sent to me. They said “it was denied due to content.” Come to find out it was “Illuminatus,” a book Sam A. Robrin has been wanting me to read for quite some time. The guard named “Beyer” was finally kind enough and respectful enough to inform me. He did also mention that it is in my “private property.” My guess is that they denied it because it was over their own reading levels. Okay, I’ll stop… but seriously, how silly is that?

It appears that they are tracking my mail and I’ll have to outsmart them (which isn’t hard) but, they are often not nice to the “inmates” and have barked at me a few times. I suppose they get to forgetting they are speaking with fellow human beings. I’m not really sure why they feel so threatened that they must track my mail. I sure don’t have the “influence” that Sam or Ian or some other folks have (who are less LOUD than I am). I’m no Dave Ridley.

This morning, as I do every morning, I open both eyes after praying that I can see without double vision… again, nope, and I woke to the usual and all too familiar room spinning thing. The “Doctor” hasn’t looked or examined me once. The Physician Assistant, early on, at least flashed a few lights in my eyes. (more…)

Brandon said “No” and was Punished

by | Oct 21, 2009 | 50 comments

Brandon Durham of Keene found the morning of October 19, 2009 a little chilly.  He was walking to the courthouse wearing a hooded sweatshirt and found that putting the hood up kept his head warmer.  He entered the City Hall building and proceeded up the stairs and through the security checkpoint.  Brandon then entered the courtroom and took a seat while he waited for the judge to enter the room and process the days docket.

A bailiff approached Brandon and asked him to remove his hood.

Brandon forgot he even had it on and declined when asked to remove it.

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Free Stater Hunting Season is Open

by | Oct 21, 2009 | 52 comments

Today I witnessed something that I found so shockingly callus, while at the same time unsurprising.

I went to Keene City Hall to file the asinine “required papers” to capture video of the ‘public trial’ Burke is holding for Sam this Friday.  As I came into the 2nd floor lobby, the bailiff recognized me, and I gave him a friendly smile and a ‘Hello’.  The bureaucrat behind the window began looking for some information I requested, I noticed a state trooper walking around in the area behind the counter.  As he exited through the side door, and entered the hallway that leads into the courtroom, I could no longer see him; however, when he began to speak to the bailiff, I could hear him plainly:

“Hey, remember those Free Staters we got the other day?  We just got him again!”

He exclaimed this in a tone of absolute joy, and then began laughing.

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