Despite a supermajority of Keeniacs opposing the “tank”, as Mayor Kendall Lane excitedly called it, the city council overwhelmingly did as they were asked by Keene Police and accepted the armored Lenco BEARCAT killing machine from the Department of Homeland Security. Now it has arrived and is ready to be used to crush your freedom – I mean to rescue people from floods and save people in burning homes.
Keene police only have the best of intentions for the vehicle – the thermal imaging equipment that can see through walls will only be used to find people in fires – they would NEVER use it to try to find cannabis grow operations. Sure, the BEARCAT has gunports all around the vehicle – but don’t worry – they’ll be using those for… um…