Keene Parking Enforcement Re-brands As “Parking Services”

In a desperate attempt to try to seem less-threatening, the city of Keene parking enforcement has re-branded as “Parking Services”! As though anyone will be fooled into thinking they provide any service of value whatsoever.

Fact is, the only “services” they provide are enriching the city’s coffers. They certainly aren’t serving peaceful motorists unless you consider the threats they “serve”, to be of value. Who are they “serving” when they steal the car of a poor single mother who has fallen behind in paying parking tickets? They’re only serving themselves – the money they collect goes to pay their paychecks and funds their continued threats against you:

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22 Comments

  1. The van looks cute and all but it is really an armored tactical assault vehicle ready to battle robin hooders.

  2. …and battle innocent shoppers.

    When visiting/shopping in Keene, parking downtown just isn’t worth the risk. Go to Wal-mart where they have free parking.

  3. Or simply pay .25 cents for an hour and a half at the Gilbo Street lot, if you can stand the 100 yard walk to downtown..

  4. People should park on their own property (the streets, which they allegedly own) for free.

  5. Parking Services? Does that mean they’ll park your car for you?

  6. You beat me to it! I’m getting ideas for videos. When you see an agent, pull over and toss her your keys and start talking to her like a valet.

  7. No they just steal the cars of poor people. They think it’s a service.

  8. Please give us your mailing address state hater so all the repair work bills can be sent to your house. Thanks for taking ownership.

  9. I don’t think you can just give the street to state hater. The public who also own the street probably wouldn’t give up their right to park freely on their own property. That would make him just as bad as the violent monopoly calling itself the city of Keene.

  10. I was speaking within the context of the imperfect system that we have, that fools like you and your ilk demand that we keep. We want everything to be privatized, and after that happens, your object will be moot.

  11. And then you will cry and complain when massive corporations owned by people like me have the ultimate power & strip libertarians of all their freedoms and make them slaves. Not a false cry of slavery like bitch made libtards complaining getting arrested for smoking pot. I’m talking about actual iron shackles, whipping and hangings, making up some awful nickname like niggerlibs to brand you with, own your motherfucking ass and your children with some papers real fucking slavery. The massive corporations will have a gigantic arsenal and private military police force fully strapped with the means to end your pathetic life without a second thought. No one will be able to protect you when I drive through your house with a tank and murder everyone you care about just for fun. If my corporation owned the roads the first task corporate officers would complete would be killing and publicly displaying the bodies of FSP and FK members along side of the street castrated and mutilated for harassing parking employees. Taking your head for a papercut type vengeance. I’m king Kong you little curious George monkey fuck!!!! This is my jungle now.
    Privatization doesn’t sound so great does it especially if your counting on people to be nice to one another. You have no understanding at all of basic human nature if you think people will just magically be nice to one another without any governance in place.

  12. There won’t be corporations if there is no government to charter them, you drooling moron.

    A business that tried anything that you describe would be obliterated by other businesses, as well as various militias.

  13. I already pay for the roads, you idiot. Haven’t you been paying attention?

  14. Hey genius!
    There doesn’t need to be a Government in order for me to call my “privatized industry” whatever the fuck I want to. If I want to endorse my shit with corporate baller status you can’t stop me because I’m free you little pansy bitch. Don’t oppress me with your bullshit rules.
    I’m naming my business: “The Most Excellent Corporation of Giving State Hater’s Mother Hard Dickin’ Time All Up In Her Fat Jiggley Ass All Day Every Fucking Day, LLC, INC., Registered Mother F’N Trademark.”
    Pretty Excellent Name Huh? Thank You Freedom!
    P.S. – Where do you think the word tyranny came from? Ever heard of it?
    Yeah it happens and has over and over again through out history. Enjoy it while you can.

    Once I achieve my tyrannical status you ain’t stopping shit. Perhaps with all my money and no one to stop me I’ll pay some greasy people to throw in a little rape action for you, your family, any pets you have, and your friends to go after the most extreme tank crushing of your precious homes that I have planned.
    WAHAHAHAAAAAH!!!

  15. You and your sycophants would be outnumbered and demolished. When there is no myth of authority, you’re not going to get the bulk of the population to imagine that you have authority.

    Of course, you’re an imbecile, so this critical distinction between what we have now and what a stateless society would be like, goes completely over your head.

  16. Once again, moron, PEOPLE WILL NOT IMAGINE SUCH A “CORPORATION” TO HAVE AUTHORITY, AND IT WILL BE OBLITERATED VIA OVERWHELMING RESISTANCE.

    How fucking stupid are you?

  17. Apparently your level of mental retardation is quite high! People will do whatever they want weather you like it or not. You can’t control shit. I bet you have wet dreams about the awesome ultimate power of the U.S. government and all of it’s related subsidiaries. The best thing ever is that you will never even get the slightest experience of that type of control in your worthless lifetime. IF I USE CAPITAL LETTERS PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO BELIEVE MY STATEMENTS TO BE TRUE, thought the puny nerd typing on his keyboard because he couldn’t take the thought that he got tank crushed and his perfect little anarchist dream was destroyed faster than a piece of dog shit hit by a lawnmower.

  18. Oh the lovely idiocy of Anarchy, town a and town b are peaceful with no cops or military. Town C is a tyrant society with many killing machines and the people to use them.
    Town C takes over towns a and b and they fail because “the people” who have no organized defense aren’t going to allow it. LMAO, freaking tool!

  19. Retard, the percentage of people who are sociopaths and psychopaths is small. In the absence of the belief in authority, they will be overwhelmingly outnumbered, and would fucking die if and when they tried anything.

  20. It’s “its,” not “it’s” in the context that you used the word, shit-for-brains.

    Bad people will not do whatever they want “weather” [sic] I like it or not, since, in the absence of the belief in authority, said bad people will be vastly outnumbered by good people.

  21. LOL…this reminds me of our town (Indianapolis). The ticket givers walk around with “Parking Ambassador” labels on their jackets.

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  1. The Final Friday Episode | Angel Clark Show | Oct 3, 2014 | DerrickJ.me - […] http://freekeene.com/2014/10/02/keene-parking-enforcement-re-brands-as-parking-services/ […]

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